WARNING: I'm currently feeling sad, angry, and resentful

This blog is not crafty, creative, appetizing, humorous, or even sprinkled with my charming sarcasm. (Ok maybe just a little). I find myself once again in emotional limbo about my career path. Right now I'm a ball of nerves because we are headed to contest on Tuesday and I'm placing my professional success in the hands of 12 year olds again. Right now at this very moment I am having Vietnam flashbacks of the first two years the Trinity schools were open. Back then, I felt like this every single day. I had a constant feeling of how it wasn't worth it to put myself through the emotional and mental torture of pouring every ounce of my heart and soul in to something that I got absolutely nothing back from. Even last year, which was better than the first two, was almost more than I could bare.

I started this school year with every intention of finding another job outside of education this June. I had decided that I'd had enough of feeling resentful towards my job. There are so many things that make it hard to stay motivated to want to work hard. For me, being single, I need this to fill me up emotionally because I have little time for much else to give me any emotional satisfaction. I am an intensely passionate person and this job is pretty much all I have to be intensely passionate about at this point in my life. Sad as that may sound to you, that's how it is. I need to feel like the sacrifices I make in my life are worth it in the end, and I rarely feel that way. I find myself feeling so resentful of my job at times, especially on Friday afternoons watching people leave at 4, because I'm exhausted and still have a few hours of work ahead of me. I hate working 50-60 hour weeks and then having to go to the school on Sunday afternoons because I'm STILL playing catch up. I hate when people tell me not to complain about working longer hours because I get a stipend. There is not a teacher of the face of this earth that gets paid enough for the hours they work. Not me, not the coaches, not the math and science teachers. No one. None of us do it for the money. So stop saying that to me. I can't work like I dog and then have parents tell me what a shitty job I'm doing. But that's the nature of the beast, and I'm constantly reevaluating whether or not it is worth it. This job is like an abusive boyfriend. It keeps beating me down and making me feel horrible about myself and just when I've had enough and decide to leave, something happens to make me change my mind. And I tell myself it will be different this time, it won't happen again. But yet here we are. I'm battered, I'm bruised (literally, I'm bruised all over from dropping percussion equipment all over myself), and I'm ready to move on. I'm definitely at low point right now. I know that when I cry when I don't have PMS that I'm really hurting. I just hope that it's all worth it on Tuesday.

My Craft Crazy Spring Break

I have had a wonderful break! I love having so much free time to enjoy a creative process. I can't wait until the summer! I saw an idea for interchangeable flip flop straps on a craft blog I follow. I thought they were so cute so I decided I would make some for my sister. This was the most time consuming project I have done in a while. The hardest part was getting the velcro glued on the the flip flop. I'm still not quite sure it's going to stick for eternity - I guess we'll find out after Vicki test-drives them for a while. The tutorial on the blog shows to sew the ribbon on to the soft side of the velcro, but I don't have a sewing machine so instead I used an iron on fusing material that I use to fix fallen hems. It worked perfectly! Tip: If you use this method be sure to put a t-shirt over the ribbon when you iron it on, and I ironed it with the soft velcro side up. Here's what I came up with:

I also found these super cute green shoes on clearance at Target and I decided to spice them up with a flower shoe clip. I'm going to make an orange one, too. I'm going to have the most colorful feet at work!

I made these ribbon flowers for another project. Stay tuned for that one.....

I made this necklace, but I couldn't get a good picture of it because my camera stinks.

I still have two days left before 10 more weeks of nonstop band! I'm going to make the most of them and hopefully have more pictures for you in a few days!

From the Mouths of Babes

I've had some students say some pretty funny stuff over the last few weeks and I wanted to share the laughs with everyone:

Me: What's the opposite of crescendo?

Kid: Uncrescendo?

*******

After giving a rather detailed lecture over what an accidental is, I ask the class, "Ok, so who can tell me what an accidental is?"

Kid: Something that wasn't supposed to happen....like me! My mom found out she was pregnant with me on the way to get birth control.

Other kid: Hey, me too!

*******

During an awkward silence in clarinet class a kid blurted out, "Gay llama!" I was like, excuse me??? He told me that saying that would make the moment less awkward. He also told me that his pet rock was expecting children. His pet rock's name is Fred, so I'm not sure how that's working for him.......

*******

I walked into the back ensemble room only to find a 7th grade boy riding a stand rack like a unicorn. When we asked him why he was doing that, he said he had forgot something in his backpack. Yeah, makes total sense. About as much sense as the kid that told me he left his key signature in his locker.

AAHHHHHHH!!! At least the kids are entertaining. Only 4 days til spring break!!!!!

The Story of the Twice Iced Sugar Hearts

I'm not really sure when my love affair with Nutella began. I seem to recall my old roommate, Tara, introducing it to me at some point. At any rate, I have ZERO self control around the stuff. Have you ever heard of SSB? Secret Singles Behavior - what people do when they're alone....when no one else is watching. Well, I'm not afraid to admit one of my SSBs is eating Nutella with a spoon straight out of the jar like it's a pint of ice cream. I finally had to stop buying it because it never lasted very long and then my pants wouldn't fit......it was a vicious cycle. Have I made my point that this stuff is DELICIOUS?? Over the past week I've been craving this stuff hardcore! I found a website with no less than 100 recipes using Nutella. I learned that February 5th is World Nutella Day. Apparently people share recipes they have created on this website. I was inspired to create my very own Nutella recipe. I scanned through the recipes hoping one would lead me to my own idea. I looked and looked but couldn't think of anything unique. Then I thought about stuff I already make.....how could Nutella make something better? Then it hit me - Nutella icing on my already delicious sugar cookies! Ahhhhh, these cookies are divine. Jennifer calls them "crack cookies". She must get one hell of a sugar rush from eating them and asks me all the time about making them like a crack feign looking for a fix. My mom used to send me a tin of these sugar cookies on every major and minor holiday while I was in college. I would share them with my roommates and they soon became quite the commodity around the SFA School of Music. I'm pretty sure the only reason people came to my recitals was because they knew those cookies would be there afterwards. My favorite of the sugar cookies were always the ones with chocolate jimmies on them. I loved the flavor of the chocolate with the homemade buttercream icing. I wanted to re-create that flavor. I knew that they wouldn't taste the same if I left of the vanilla buttercream, so I decided that instead of sugar sprinkles I would drizzle them with the Nutella buttercream. I remember why I don't make these very often - they are a lot of work!! Make the dough, chill the dough, roll the dough, cut out the cookies, bake the cookies, let the cookies cool, ice the cookies, drizzle the cookies, wait for the icing to harden, and then store the cookies. I tasted a few, and they are good, but I'm a little disappointed in them for two reasons. They didn't turn out quite as soft as I'd hoped and the Nutella flavor isn't as intense as I'd hoped. Next time I make these I think I'm going to skip turning the Nutella into icing and just heat it and drizzle it right on the cookies. They are still very tasty and I'm sure the boys at work will be happy to help me get rid of them!

Now to clean up. Ugh. I believe that I'll be taking applications for a baking assistant. Cute single guys only need apply. ;o)

What's For Lunch?

That is what I usually ask Dean everyday now. He always has some random combination of food. Here's the latest:

On this day it's leftover steak. He stabs his fork into the middle and eats it like a cave man. Officer Savage calls it a meat stick.

Then we have a bowl of rice and left over meat patties of some kind. I like this lunch particularly because of the repurposing of the cheese bag.

A "normal" lunch. Yogurt drink, bag of meat, and apple slices.

And my personal favorite. The day after the Super Bowl he hauls in this giant bag of left over chicken wings, an apple sauce, half a grapefruit, a granola bar, and the oreo balls I made over the weekend. Yes, he ate every bit of it and I'm pretty sure he regretted it.

Stay tuned for more lunch amusement!

Valentine Goodies

More project photos to share! This weekend I made more goodies for all my work friends. I tried out a few more recipes from Bakerella. This time it was for Oreo Balls and NutterButter Balls. I have a student that gives me oreo balls during the holidays each year and they are always delicious! I was excited to find this recipe and to see how easy they were! All you do is grind up the cookies in a food processor, mix them with a block of cream cheese, roll them in a ball, and then dip them in chocolate. That's it. And you can put a tiny heart sprinkle on top like I did if you want to up the cute factor. This is a super recipe for busy people. It didn't take a lot of effort. If you have a helper you could whip these up in a jiffy.

I also made a few hair clips and a valentine card for my niece.

I know these pictures are not great. I am planning on getting myself a really nice camera before summer. I have some plans for myself and a new camera that can produce some quality pictures would come in handy. No, I don't want to be a photographer. Yes, I want good pictures of the stuff I make.

TMEA is this week!!! Only two and half workdays and I'll be in San Antonio!!! Enjoy your week!!

Weekend Projects

I've been trying very hard to make sure that I get a chance every weekend to create stuff. I think it helps me to stay sane during the week. This weekend I made some goodies for the guys at work. They put up with me so the least I can do is make them some sweet treats.

Today I started with homemade marshmallows from the Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten. This was absolutely the most ooey-gooey sticky thing I've ever made! It was really easy, just super sticky. After letting them set up all day, I cut them into squares and dipped them in chocolate. I mustered all the self control I had and only ate one! They were delicious! (If you are interested in trying this recipe let me know and I will give you some tips I picked up to cut down on the sticky mess!)

Next up was a recipe I found on Bakerella for Red Velvet Sandwich Cookies. The recipe called for a huge batch of cream cheese frosting and I knew that I would have a ton extra, so I decided to make a double batch. And what goes with cream cheese frosting better than carrot cake? Not much. These things were super easy, too. I only tried half of one of the carrot cake cookies and I thought it was good. It is very reminiscent of a Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie. Hopefully my taste testers will let me know the taste verdict.

Packaging the goodies is just as much fun to me as the baking! I hope everyone enjoys the goodies!

I have more Valentine goody projects lined up for later in the week and next weekend. Hopefully I will have more pictures to share in a few days.