Things I Have Decided

-People that try to turn left out of major shopping areas on to busy six lane roads where there is no light 2 days before Christmas need to have their head examined. (There is a light 1/8 of a mile down, and you don't have to play chicken with other cars by shooting across rush hour traffic like a lawn dart). I've decided that these are the same people that don't pay attention at four way stops.

-I think I like my job. I just don't necessarily like the demands on my time. After taking a step back and gaining some perspective, I've come to a few realizations:

1. I like my job, but I have not gotten to the point yet where it fills me up completely. It does at times, but it's not enough yet to sustain me. Currently, it is more draining than anything which requires me to fill myself up with other things. Pehaps this will change as I get better at my job.

2. I have more interests than just teaching band. I know a lot of people that live, eat, breath, and dream about band everyday and they love it and can't get enough of it. I am not one of those people. Again, maybe I will be someday when I'm better at my job. But for now I'm not. I enjoy so many other things and when I do not get enough time to decompress from the band world it makes me crazy.

3. My friends are my family. My friends are band directors (except Natasha and Amy!). So the equation looks like this: Time with friends x band is our life = band overload. Spending time with my friends helps to recharge me. However, I would say 90% of the time we are talking about band......and again, we are back to having no time to decompress.

4. I take my sense of loyalty and responsibility at my job very seriously. I don't feel like I have the luxury or the right to constantly be asking everyone around me to adjust to my needs. I understood the sacrifices that my job entailed when I took it. I understand the ramifications of being unreliable and I try very hard not to burden anyone because I decided to go home and scrapbook instead of staying at work to finish something. I feel like my responsibilities to the band program are bigger than those to myself. Is this necessarily the best thing for me? Probably not. I'm not willing to let my work slip - I've just got to find a way to work smarter instead of harder in order to achieve a better balance for my life.

Hopefully my next blog will be more pictures and less words. Happy Holidays everyone!

A Delicate Balancing Act

I haven't blogged much since school started back in August. I haven't really been up for it. I can't believe how fast this semester just flew by. I have never been so happy to have a break from work....except for maybe after that first year at TSMS. That first year was ROUGH and I think, much like a mother that had a rough pregnancy and a painful delivery, I forgot all about the agony when things got better. Well, I sorta feel like I'm 9 months into my second pregnancy, overdue, and waiting around for the ball to drop so I can feel that elation again. (Sorry about the pregnancy metaphor......I know about half a dozen expectant mothers right now, including my sister who found out this week she is having a boy.)

But I digress. I am overwhelmed each day with overthinking my current situation. I don't feel like I am living - I feel like I'm survivng. There are some days that I feel so overwhelmed and feel like if one more person asks one more thing of me that I'm going to have a meltdown. I think if I felt that any part of my life was in order, then maybe I wouldn't feel like this. I feel like everything is in a state of disarray. I feel like I'm failing at the delicate balancing act.

I feel like I fall short most days at work. I feel like I have no business at a 3C middle school in a huge, competetive metroplex district. I feel a huge sense of loyality to the people I work with and to the students I teach, and when I feel as though I've let them down I feel mass amounts of guilt. I feel like I would be better served somewhere else than having them not be able to depend on me. I feel like if I can't be good at this job, then I don't want to do it. It is important to me NOT to let down the people that depend on me and this is in the back of my mind with every decesion I make. And then I ask myself if mentally torturing myself is worth the price of my sanity. So many other band directors tell me that teaching band is the best thing in the world, but I don't agree with them yet. Does that mean I need to find another career? Maybe I would enjoy it if I wasn't constantly feeling like a I wasn't good enough to do it. At the beginning of this school year I set some personal career goals for myself: to help as many kids as possible make it into the district and region bands, to be a better planner of my classroom time and to have a better idea of the goal for each class, and to make my little Symphonic Band actually sound like a band. We had more kids make the district and region bands than last year, but I feel like I still fell short of that goal. The other two I feel like I have achieved. So why do I still feel like failure? Admittedly, I know I'm my own worst critic and I like to think that I set a high standard for my professional self, so I should feel like I haven't failed at anything.....but I still do.

And then there is life outside of the bandhall. (Really, there is one?) Exactly. I feel like I've been slighly more social this year than in years past, but what happens when I go out with my band director friends for dinner? We talk about band. There are times when this is okay. There are times when this is not. I would perfer a social life that doesn't feel like a department meeting over drinks. It's hard, though, because it is often necessary, and then this is when I feel like I can't escape. Then I'm back to asking myself questions: Maybe I would like all of this social band banter if I didn't feel like a failure at my job....if I didn't feel so drained at 5:30 everyday. Not counting the last three days of school, I feel like I have poured more of my physical, emotional, and mental energy into teaching this year than any other. Which is probably why I have nothing left to give right now. It's why I'm taking the feeling of falling short so hard. And why I feel guilty for not being able to do everything: I haven't sent out Christmas cards, I haven't bought any Christmas presents, I haven't seen some of my friends in weeks, I don't have the energy to stay out with my friends when I do see them, and my house is a wreck. I feel like I'm my own support system, except that part ran out of energy back in October and there has been nothing to fill that system back up. The batteries have been drained and there has been nothing there to recharge them.

It's a vicious cycle: I give all of my mental, emotional, and physical strength and energy to my job and then there is nothing left for anything or anyone else. When I selfishly decide to set up some boundaries with work to let myself recharge, then I just feel guilty that I let someone at work down, and then I don't recharge because I feel guilty. I'm tormented by these thoughts everyday. My goal over this holiday break is to find some way to balance things out. I don't know how to complete everything I need to at work and not feel so drained that I have nothing left to give any other aspect of my life. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to the boys I work with, and it's not fair to anyone else in my life. 10 years ago I wasn't the cynical pessimist I am today. I'm tired of only surviving and would really like to reconcile the feelings of guilt I have from not being able to be everything and the fact that that I'm only one person that only has 24 hours in a day that needs to sleep 8 of those hours and is at work 10-11 hours (normally) and has about 5 hours a day left to figure it out.

OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not quite sure that words can express my elation tonight!!!! This is such a huge day for our country and I'm very happy to be part of this history. I am so glad to see that our country is looking past color barriers and taking a giant step in the direction of progress. I felt it in my gut four years ago when Barack spoke at the DNC - I felt the chills of excitement spread across my body, and I feel it again now. I can't wait to tell my grandchildren about this day. Oh, how I wish I was in Chicago tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Has Anyone Else Noticed.....

Since Mrs. Palin has been named as the Vice Presidential candidate there have been a lot more women pundits on the cable news channels to discuss their support/disdain for her. This is a great thing. I'm always up for women voicing their opinions on some place other than The View, since they bicker like school children on that show. Here's what I've noticed though: Every time they have two women voicing different opinions on the issues, the conservative republican lady is always young and attractive and the liberal democrat is always older and less attractive (at least by the standards of our society). I just find it interesting. Think about all of the great democratic women leaders we've had over the past 20 years. Most of them fit the media's criteria for being a democratic woman: Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton.......all older and a few might even be considered unattractive. I just find it interesting that the media is now creating a sterotype that all conservative women are young and attractive and all democratic women are older and mousey. There are plenty of old republican women and young, attractive democratic women out there so put them on air, too! Keep your eyes peeled for this as you watch cable news over the next month. I haven't seen a beautiful young democratic on the air once.......and I watch a lot of news.

I Should Totally Be in Bed Right Now......

............But I can't stop watching CNN! And over the last few months I've developed a crush on TJ Holmes (above), one of the weekend anchors. Of course, I've had a crush on weather man Rob Marciano (below) for a while. I'll let them fight it out for me.

Update on my life: This school year is re-defining the word BUSY. I'm never caught up with anything, I don't get enough sleep, physical activity, or nutrients, and there are no signs of slowing down until June 2009. I think the only thing keeping me going this year is that I don't feel like I suck at teaching anymore. That, and the YouTube video of Sarah Palin playing the flute in a pageant back in 1984. I've got two words for you Sarah: pull out!

Favorite Pictures From a Fast Week

I really can't believe how fast the weeks are going by this school year. I think we have about 30 minutes of actual quiet time with no kids around. Hopefully all the extra practice time the kids are allowed will help them at our contests later in the fall. It just makes the days go soooooo fast.
I haven't been taking many pictures lately, so I'm trying to do better when I see something funny, or odd, or interesting.

When I stopped by the lady's room at TSMS earlier this week I saw this mango sitting in a bowl. I wasn't sure if I could have a bite if I wanted or if it was free for the taking. It was just plain weird to walk into the restroom and see a mango sitting next to the toilet paper.

This is a picture of a glass of beer I had at Manny G's. If any of you reading this live around Keller and haven't checked this place out, then I demand you to go RIGHT NOW. The food is fabulously awesome! Everything I've tried is great! And they have this beer called Black Butte that I actually like! I had two this week.

And when the cat's away.........
Kai and I were on our own Friday. I wish I could say that this picture of him was him in rare form, but I'd say it's pretty much par for the course. He's nuts. And I love it. He was trying to rally the troops in his band before class, so he put on a snare drum and his Cavalier's hat and stood in the hallway announcing Football Friday. He taught some of his class with the hat on, too. Friday afternoon delirium? Perhaps.

I'm Just Sayin'

If you have seven houses and 13 cars, you would probably think that the fundamentals of the economy are strong, too. Click here to read more about John McCain's vehicle collection. I don't really care if the cars were made in America or overseas, just the fact that he needs 13 is disturbing. Clearly, the guy is completely out of touch with reality.

Me, Circa 1990

In 1990 I was in the 6th grade. Too bad I wasn't a senior cause I would have looked like this! Go to www.yearbookyourself.com - it's lots of fun!

If I Had A Nickel.......

For every time I've heard, "thanks, but no thanks" over the past two weeks, I could retire tomorrow. Just to clarify, in case you don't watch the news, she did take that money. She didn't build the bridge to nowhere. Instead, she took the money and built a road to the beach where the bridge to nowhere was supposed to start. So, yes Sarah, you took the money. It was a special interest earmark brought to you by your wackadoodle Senator, Mr. Ted Stevens, who incidentally is known in Congress to ask for more earmarks than anyone else in on Capitol Hill. How much of Mr. Stevens's money have you turned down? The answer, Sarah, is NONE.

Someone Please Explain.......

Why do the republicans find it necessary to make light of the fact that Barack Obama worked as a community organizer in inner city Chicago after college? What is so funny about it? First Rudy Giuliani gets a laugh from the all white, all wealthy, all priveldged audience at the RNC and then Sarah Palin basically said that he did no "actual work" in that position. Then some jerk of a congressman from Georgia has the audacity to call the Obamas "uppidity". Seriously?????? After two major republican figures make fun of his work in which he helped to better the rough communities of his city......A job in which he helped people find hope in the face a desparity.....A job where he helped a struggling community find purpose to encourage their youth to get an education and better themselves and the place where they came from....You call that uppidity? Just saying that you think his work helping others was pointless makes you an uppidity elitist idoit nincompoop pinhead. But Obama is the elitist for helping the less fortunate? Hypocracy at it's finest. I take serious issue with Rudy and Sarah poking fun at his career path. It just goes to show how out of touch they are with what millions of Americans face each day - poverty, no representation, and no hope that it will ever change. I do not understand how on earth Guiliani, the former mayor of the biggest city in the nation, could make light of someone who worked to better a community. So he is telling all of the community organizers in New York that are trying in vain to keep families together, trying to keep kids off of the streets and in school, trying to help struggling citizens find decent jobs, trying to help people find a BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE, that their job is hilariously unimportant. Words cannot express my utter disbelief with these people right now.

Here are some facts:
1. While working in Chicago, Barack Obama lead the biggest movement that city had ever seen to get citizens registered to vote and involved in the democratic process - so that they could have a voice in the path of their future.
2. Barack Obama could have worked ANYWHERE he wanted for ANY amount of money after he graduated from Havard Law School. He was the first African American President of the Harvard Law Review and was wanted by people everywhere. He instead choose to move back to Chicago to continue to work for the people that he knew needed him to be their voice. He made several million dollars less taking this noble path. (Real uppidity, don't you think?)
3. He is only the 3rd African American senator to serve in Congress.

I have other very strong views about education and poverty that I will save for another blog later this week. My point today is: GET REAL, RUDY!!!!!! THANKS FOR COMPLETELY CHEAPENING THE PASSIONATE WORK OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE THAT ARE TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. PEOPLE LIKE BARACK OBAMA ARE THE REASON THAT PEOPLE LIKE BARACK OBAMA HAVE A CHANCE AT GREATNESS IN THIS NATION!!!!

CNN Convention Coverage Comments

I should totally be finishing my homework, but I have to take a minute to comment on the the CNN coverage of the Democratic Convention.....

I mean seriously? Who thought that the stupid Brittany Spears, Burger King drive-thru head microphones were a good idea? They really make all of the reporters and pundits look pretty gay. A small lapel mic wouldn't do? How about some boom mics? Anyone??? And all of those big touch screen monitors with maps of America are wearing me out. I can't take any more speculation that sounds like, "well John, if Obama can win Nevada and Colorado then he puts himself in a theoretic dead heat with McCain, who will most likely be able to pull out a win in Michigan, but lets not discount all of those blue collar workers in that state, John, because they can help to put that state in blue for Obama. And by the way John, this head mike makes me look like a complete tool. Back to you."

And all of these Hillary Clinton supporters that can't face the fact that she is no longer running for president need to calm down. Tonight I heard one of the reporters say, "some of the Clinton supports still want to cast their vote for her so they can feel validated". Validated? Quit your stupid whining. I wish that they would realize that the real difference between Obama and Clinton is nothing more than a penis and a bra. They basically share the same (or very close to the same) views on every topic. If you would have stopped your freaking whining three months ago and payed attention to the news, then maybe you would have figured that out already. I'd like to remind them that all of the Ralph Nader supporters who wanted to be validated eight years ago are the reason that Al Gore isn't president today.

...........stepping off of the soap box now..............

Long Time, No Blog

I really haven't blogged much this summer. Don't really know why - just haven't. My computer has had a virus for about a week, but today I think I might've got things working again.

School starts tomorrow, and I can't say I'm super excited. I think I just need to get back in the routine of the school year and then maybe I'll feel differently. It seems like simply over night I went from having nothing to do, to having WAY too many things happening at once. It's always a hard adjustment, and setting the clock for 5am tonight isn't helping!! I'm not a morning person. I hate getting up in the morning. I love staying up late. Well, those nights are over and going to bed before it's dark out will be the new norm.

I really wanted to write this blog to express how ready I am for fall!!! I can't wait for it too cool off. I can't wait to burn my pumpkin spice candles. I always get the urge to bake more in the fall and I can't wait for some pumpkin and pecan pie! I guess I could make those now, but it doesn't seem right. It's gotta be cold outside for that. I can't wait, though!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I'm off to bed. It's after eight ya know.

Vintage Alanis

I don't want to be the bandage if the wound is not mine....
....I don't want to be your babysitter
You're a very big boy now
I don't want to be your mother
I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months.....
....I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together.....

Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy

No sentimental value to the rose tat fell on your floor
No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for......
There's an obvious attraction
To the path of least resistance in your life
There's an obvious aversion no amount of my insistance
could make you try tonight.....
And what goes around never comes around to you

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm hear but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby

She will always be able to say it better than me.

Fourth of July "Fun"

I went to visit my sister over the weekend. She decided to make a flag cake for the 4th of July celebration. A few problems: she didn't have any white icing and she forgot what color the stars and stripes were supposed to be. So the flag cake ended up looking like it was from the 4th of July celebration from the our alternate universe where the flags are pink:

Abby is growing up really fast. Her favorite things to say are "NO" and "I don't want to!" in true 2 1/2 year old style.

This is her silly face:

This is her parrot, Chuck. Chuck gets in trouble a lot and has to go to time out in his cage at the pet hospital. Chuck's friend, Meow Kitty, never gets in trouble. I don't really get what that is all about.

Here is Abby playing with Chuck and Meow Kitty. I think everyone was getting along at this point and no one was on time out.

Adventures in Home Ownership

Last week I discovered that I had a broken sprinkler head in the front yard. I went to the Home Depot and got what I thought would fix it, but it did not. I went back to get something else, but it didn't solve the problem. My lawn (and foundation) were desperate for water so I decided to let the sprinklers run a few times anyway until I could figure out what to do. So tonight, the Smiths were dropping me off from a trip out to their house-in-progress when my favorite neighbor stopped me to let me know that I had a broken sprinkler head. (This guy is more worried about my sprinklers than I am! He's the one that was talking to me about coordinating my system with his before I ever even closed on the house! Then a month after I moved in he was telling me that I was creating a bog situation between our houses with my sprinklers. Yeah, remember last June....when it rained every single day? But it was MY sprinklers creating the bog situation. This guy really works my nerves.) But I digress.....Luckily, Bob and Natasha got out of their car to have a look at it and Bob told me that I would have to dig a little deeper to get a better look at it. Bob told me that he would come back tomorrow night to help me look at it, but I was so annoyed by my neighbor that I just started to dig. While I was digging my neighbor from across the street came out to let me know that I had a broken sprinkler head in my front yard. I was like, yeah, thanks, that's why I'm DIGGING A HOLE IN MY FRONT YARD! Yes, I seriously said that. He didn't offer to help me fix it, nor did the first guy. I figured out what the problem was, made my 675th trip to the Home Depot this summer and fixed the thing myself. I get such a rush fixing things myself. Once I pulled it out of the lawn, it looked like the pop up part didn't pop back down and someone ran over it with a lawn mower and cut it clean off. I'm a little dismayed that either my lawn service or my other neighbor broke it and no one bothered to let me know. And while I appreciate my others neighbors letting me know that I have a problem, I quote Bob Smith, don't just tell me what the problem is, tell me how to fix it.

More Awesomely Bad Baby Names

The entertainment continues:

1. Laykin, whose siblings have even more awesome names: Nevada, Caleb, Te'Ya, and Zoe'. Wow - Caleb really got lucky there.
2. Makeelah Markez
3. Ja'Cerrian O'Bryant
4. Makullen Kayne, sister is Makenna Rayne
5. Chesnie Jo
6. Zakemeon Dornell, Jr.
7. Alora Neveah

Photoshop Fun

Last summer Natasha got me hooked on etsy.com. This summer she's got me hooked on creating stuff in photoshop! It's so much fun!! Here are the first two things I've successfully made by myself: an invitation to Jennifer's birthday party and a picture for my mom.

I finally finished painting my kitchen! A coat of primer and two coats of paint later. I finally settled on a color called white truffle. My hands hurt really bad. At least now I can start hanging stuff on the walls and making it look pretty. Pictures will be posted soon!

The Crickets Must Die!!!!!

I'm totally taking insomniac to a whole new level tonight. I'm actually super tired and want to go to bed, but my mind and the mutant Texas crickets won't let me. I don't know what it is about the crickets around here, but they have the loudest chirp of any crickets I've ever encountered. Their chirping is so intense that it sounds like they are sitting on my bed with me. It wouldn't be so bad if it were just a dull roar, but this is insane!!!!! If anyone reading this knows how to exterminate yard crickets please let me know!

I must pick a color to paint the kitchen tomorrow. I must. No more vacillating. It's time to make a choice. Why are there 60 different shades of beige??

Really, I just want to the crickets to die!!!! Hmmmm...dead cricket.....I wonder if that is a color option?

Painting

I spent the day priming my kitchen for a new coat of paint. I thought I had the color picked out, but now I can't decide. I have it 'narrowed' down to seven colors. This will only be the third color in 13 months that these walls have seen so I really want to get it right this time. I guess my kitchen is having a little bit of an identity crisis. Maybe I need to call David Bromstad for help!! Painting by yourself sucks, but luckily I had some little helpers stop by today!

Parker said he likes to paint!

Caden was a very hard worker!

Allie before she got her hands in the paint!

Oops! Got a little on the face!

The Final Creation:

By the way - Natasha was nice enough to teach me how to use photoshop and I made my blog banner using my new skills! She was the creator of the others I've had and now I can make my own!

Musing on Happiness

I just saw a link to an article on MSN.com titled Is it Possible to be Single and Happy?

Let me answer that for you - yes. Astonishingly - I am happy. Actually, this is the happiest I've been in a long time. Why? Because I do whatever makes me happy and enriches my life and stay away from things that suck the life out of me. I wouldn't be so appalled by a title like this had it read something like......

Is it Possible That There is Life on Uranus?

Is it Possible That Flying Monkeys Could Take Over the World?

Is it Possible That Dick Cheney Could Actually Embrace Gun Control?

I Love This Man

If anyone knows a man like this:

please let me know. Handsome, funny, and smart isn't too much to ask for, right?

Saturday Night Thoughts

I'm entertaining myself at Natasha's house while she is taking the babysitter home. I found an article on MSN.com called 9 Money Rules to Live By by Liz Pulliam Weston. I always read articles like this because I want to make sure that I'm not doing something stupid with my money. There was one little section that articulates a thought that I frequently have and I just wanted to share it. I always wonder when enough will be enough........finding a balance between a good, comfortable life of contentment and always wanting more. Anyway....this is what I found:

"The pointlessness of the hedonic treadmill

This isn't the latest workout device at your gym. The hedonic treadmill means that we quickly adjust to improved circumstances. A raise at work or a new possession may make us happy for a little while, but we soon take our situation for granted. Our expectations continue to rise: if only I could get another raise, or a better car, or a bigger house. Should those expectations be satisfied, again we'd adjust and quickly want more.

This has a lot of implications for personal finance and the economy, but here's something to consider: Maybe we need to look beyond our wallets for true happiness."

Recipes For You!!

I made a delicious dinner tonight and I wanted to share it with you! I used Tilapia instead of Flounder (cause that's all they had at Kroger last Sunday) and it was still awesome, although the fish fell apart a little. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did! I got these recipes off of EatingWell.com.

On a vacation note - Suzanne booked us a trip to Cozumel today!!!!! We will be at an all-inclusive resort on a secluded beach. All-inclusive means that you don't pay for drinks. And they have a swim up bar. Oh. My. Gosh. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! We'll be there four nights and we'll fly back on my birthday!

Sauteed Flounder with Orange-Shallot Sauce

Ingredients

• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt , or to taste
• Freshly ground pepper to taste
• 1 pound flounder , sole or haddock fillets
• 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 each large shallot , finely chopped (about 1/3 cup)
• 1/2 cup dry white wine
• 1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
• 2 heaping teaspoons Dijon mustard
• 2 teaspoons butter
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Instructions

1. Mix flour, salt and pepper in a shallow dish. Thoroughly dredge fish fillets in the mixture.
2. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until shimmering but not smoking (see Tip). Add the fish and cook until lightly browned and just opaque in the center, 3 to 4 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate and cover loosely with foil.
3. Add shallot to the pan and cook over medium-high heat, stirring often, until softened and beginning to brown, about 3 minutes. Add wine and bring to a simmer, scraping up any browned bits. Cook until most of the liquid has evaporated, 1 to 2 minutes. Add orange juice and mustard; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer until the sauce thickens a bit, about 5 minutes. Add butter and parsley; stir until the butter has melted. Transfer fish to individual plates, top with sauce and serve.

Sesame Snap Peas with Carrots & Peppers

Ingredients

• 8 ounces sugar snap peas , trimmed (about 2 cups)
• 1 each small red bell pepper , cut into strips (about 1 cup)
• 1 each large carrot , peeled and thinly sliced (about 1 cup)
• 1 tablespoon reduced-sodium soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
• 1 teaspoon sesame seeds
• Freshly ground pepper to taste

Instructions

1. Bring 2 inches of water to a boil in a pan. Put peas, bell pepper and carrot in a steamer basket and place in the pan. Cover and steam, stirring once, until crisp-tender, 5 to 7 minutes. Transfer to a medium bowl; add soy sauce, oil, sesame seeds and pepper; toss to coat. Serve warm.

Decorating and Dinner

Amongst other things today, I hung up my other buy from the Uppercase Living party in my new "craft room". It looks so cute in there and I can't wait to get the rest of the room put together.

Cristian came over tonight and he made his favorite dinner: Italian sausage and pasta with peppers and onions in the marinara sauce. It was delicious! My compliments to the chef!

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

Can you see in this picture that my left ankle is slightly larger than my right? Well, that's because I tripped in a sink hole and twisted it. Yeah. Natasha came to pick me up for a scrapbooking get together and as I walked out to the car I had to learn the hard way that there is a dip in my front yard. I walked right into it and twisted the heck out of my ankle. It hurt for a minute, but then the pain subsided. After sitting for a while at the get together my ankle managed to swell so much that I could hardly put any weight on it. I was able to hobble back to the car and now I'm laying on the couch with an ice pack. What a great way to kick off the summer!

Trying to be Handy

So, today I went back to the tile store to pick up the tile I ordered, along with the necessary bag of grout and tile adhesive. I got my tile from an independently owned tile store and the owner was a little shady. The price of the tile was clearly marked, and I don't think I got a bad price on it. However, when I went to pay for all the stuff, this guy was going to try to sell me a $40 3.5 gallon bucket of adhesive. (He told me the day before that he would get me a small gallon bucket of it, but today he was unable to get that for me). This bucket has enough adhesive for me to tile my whole freaking house, not to mention that I'm not paying $40 for it. I told him no thanks, I'll just get a small bucket myself from Home Depot so just tell me what I owe for the small bag of grout. (I asked him yesterday how much it was and he never told me - he said he'd have to look it up). Well, when I asked again today he still didn't have an answer. He started looking through papers for what seemed like 5 minutes and then came to the conclusion that the bag will cost $24. WHAT???? I straight up told him that was a little excessive for a small bag of grout and that I could just pick that up at Home Depot, too. He told me that since I was a good customer that he would give me the bag for $12. That seemed a little more reasonable to me. I wondered what it would have cost me if I wasn't a single girl ordering tile all by myself? I felt like he was taking advantage of me and under the impression that I was born yesterday. I went to Home Depot after I left the store to get my adhesive. They had a small bucket of adhesive for $9.97. They also had the same large bucket as the tile store for only $27.97. Interesting. The exact same bag of grout that I got - $12.97. I saved 97 cents on my bag of grout. I guess I can't expect independent businesses to compete with Home Depot prices, but a 100% mark up is excessive when Home Depot is a half mile down the road.
Yesterday, the contractor was telling me to get some longer screws for my electrical outlets and I wanted to write down the correct size. He told me what it was and then told me (in a condescending tone that had a hint of pity for me, the single girl trying to get some handy work done) that I should ask for help when I got to Home Depot. Why? Because I'm too stupid to find the bag of screws that says #8 1 1/2 inches on it? I have a master's degree, I think I can find a bag of screws by myself. I don't know as much about being handy as I do about baking a cake, but I can learn. I'm smart and have a desire to learn new things. I can learn how to be handy, I just need to be taught how to do all of these new things. I don't appreciate these men assuming I am incapable of doing these jobs. Acting helpless is not a quality that I find endearing in other women, and I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I am able to do things on my own. Not that I needed to feel any less inept today, I tried to start caulking my crown molding. I did it just how I'd read in three different sources, but gravity was working against me. I'm definitely going to need some hands on training to get this project finished.
One project that I was able to complete was to put up my new welcome sign that I ordered from Natasha's Uppercase Living party. It looks so cute! I have some other stuff for my office that I'm going to hang up next week.

Summer Break, Day 1 = Home Improvements

I spent my first day on break doing all kinds of stuff I'd been putting off. I ordered tile for my back splash in the kitchen, the contractor came out to measure, and hopefully it will be going in on Monday! Can't wait to post pictures of that. He also gave me an estimate on painting the cabinets and I'm seriously considering having that done within the month. This afternoon I finished painting my "craft room" this cheery green color! I want this room to be vibrant and a place that will inspire more creativity. Right now all that is in it are curtains. I guess I've got all summer to spruce it up more. Between work and home, I've got WAY to many summer projects scheduled. I can't wait to have the kitchen finished, though!

Can't Sleep....Thoughts.......

Wow - it's June and we are still in school. This is very bizarre. Tomorrow is the last day with the kids and luckily we only have one class. I am very much looking forward to having the summer to do stuff. I've got so much planned:
-finish painting the office/craft room
-caulk and paint the crown molding
-repaint the kitchen
-put together a giant shelving system for the dining room
-get a dog
-plan for next year
-plant a tree in the front yard
-have lots of craft nights with Natasha!
-go on vacation!!! been researching Toronto lately......
-learn how to be a pastry chef!


I spent the weekend trying to reflect on some positive things in my life. I tried to focus on things that I am good at and things that I enjoy. My job provides me with certain freedoms that I have not always had the luxury of, such as two uninterrupted months of vacation and financial stability. These two things together help me explore lots of other things that I really enjoy doing, but don't get to much time to during the hustle and bustle of the school year. Things like fun cooking (not survival cooking, which is what I normally do), all the little creative projects I like to work on with Tasha, and decorating my house. I like to investigate new music and find lesser known artists that don't sell out to pop culture. Anything that allows me to be creative, I'm in! I really like having other things to occupy my time besides band. I want to be good at my job - I want to be damn good at my job - but I want to have other things to enrich my life. I feel I need other outlets in order to be a well rounded person. I have more to say......I'm just not sure how to put things into words right now......I'm not really sure how to say what I'm feeling tonight. Perhaps I will be a bit more eloquent after some sleep........
I want more in my life than band! Is that such a crime?

Being Domestic

I got home early today and had the urge to cook, cook, cook! First I made some salsa. Then I made lunch for tomorrow: curry chicken salad sandwiches, garden salad, and this fruit tart:

I thought the tart came out great and very picturesque, so I had to document it for posterity. Of course this is WAY too much for me to eat by myself, so I guess I'll share with Dean.

Can't wait til summer so we can have Monday night culture dinners again!

Stop Your Whining!

I was watching the nightly news with Brian Williams on Tuesday. At the end of the broadcast he was reporting on high gas price and the pocket book pinch that people were feeling over this holiday weekend. On the NBC website they asked people to email in the adjustments they made over the weekend to celebrate on such tight budgets. Everyone is making adjustments due to high gas prices these days, but I was just appalled at some of the responses. One person said that they had to eat "regular" hamburgers on Memorial Day instead of the usual barbqued ribs. Another person said they had to buy discount ground beef for their "regular" hamburgers. Yet another person was complaining they only got to go to the beach right by their house instead of the one several hundred miles away due to the price of gas. Really? This is your biggest problem? That you got to eat hamburgers instead of ribs? What is this sense of entitlement about? I just don't understand it. These days there are so many successful young people that have so much at such a young age. So you feel like you worked hard and deserve some ribs? Well, there are a lot of farmers in Africa that work hard, too, and I'm sure they are just happy to have anything to eat at the end of long day. Have people become so jaded that they are able to loose their perspective of the world over a stupid hamburger? Really? Most of our generation's parents were much older and had to work much harder to have the things that most of us have so young now. They all wanted things to be easier for us, and they are, but do we really need to complain about going to the beach and being able to eat anything? Have you turned on the news lately to see the devastation in Myanmar and China? Perhaps you heard about the 100's of tornadoes in the midwest? You should be so fortunate to have a roof of any sort over your head and any sort of "regular" food to eat! I quote John Stossell - GIVE ME A BREAK!

Happy Birthday, House!

My house is one year old today. I've been celebrating by hanging out in it.

Everything is Better in Austin

When Natasha and I were in Austin last week we went to the downtown Whole Foods twice. It was so awesome!!!! It was huge. Everything about that place was a kadrillion times better than the Central Markets in Ft. Worth and Southlake. I can't even describe it - it was just awesome. I decided last weekend that I would go to the one in Arlington this weekend to grocery shop. Huge let down. It was (not surprisingly) a lot smaller and a lot less impressive. I didn't have all the cool fancy desserts, the huge coffee bar, the aisles and aisles of fun stuff. My local Central Markets have a lot more choices in every arena. It was a very anticlimactic trip. Perhaps I'm idealizing Austin, but I really love that place and want to live there. The January trip was awesome, the May trip was awesome, and I'm sure that all trips that follow will be awesome!

Random thoughts:
-The people that live across the street from me are always in their garage. I don't get it. They've been living in a brand new house for 6 months, yet the spend most of their time in their garage. They have a middle school aged little girl that comes over to ring my doorbell after she sees me come home and invites me to hang out in their garage. I have spent a lot of time decorating the inside of my house so I didn't have to hang out in my garage. I'm very perplexed by this.
-I can't believe the school year is almost over, yet I can't believe that we still have a week and half let of school.
-I really thought I had more random thoughts to share, but I don't!

Feeling Accomplished

Now that I've got all of the stress of the year behind me, I've spent most of the weekend reflecting on the school year. I wouldn't say that this last semester has been easy. I've never poured so much of my energy and heart and soul into something as much as I have over the past year. I guess all the anxiety I felt was because I thought that not succeeding would cause all of that spent energy to be in vain. I feel a real sense of accomplishment after the past week. I'm really glad that I didn't let the kids down and that they were able to feel the same sense of accomplishment. I finally feel like 'yes, I can do it; yes, I have done it'. Instead of feeling like I have to prove myself to 20 different people, I feel like I have proven myself. I feel like I have jumped over a big career hurdle last week. I finally feel like I'm on the right track and I can take it to the next level next year. And really, we kinda did this by ourselves. That's what is so rewarding, I think. I guess I'm just so pumped that we ACTUALLY did this. We were ACTUALLY successful. Not that I doubted myself, but I felt like I've been walking through the dark for two years and now I've found the light! I can see the future a little better now. I can see (and I truly hope) that this is the start of something great. This really must be what new moms feel like because despite all of the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the tears, and the worry - I want more.

One Year Later....Things Are Looking Up

I wrote this blog a year ago on May 8th, 2007. I remember thinking things couldn't get worse. I don't really think they did, but it seems like I had another set of problems to deal with over the past year. I makes me wonder if I'll ever be satisfied. Is it that I can't get no satisfaction or is it that I'm always striving to make things better? I guess I need to continue to strive, but maybe be a little more content with my life in the process. Here's how things were going a year ago:

I'm officially sick of my apartment, so I'm having a festivus to air all of the grievances I have against the Hidden Lakes Apartments at 5333 Fossil Creek Blvd. There are so many grievances that I will have to make this into a series of blogs.

1. There is a very bright light right outside of my bedroom window that is impossible to turn off. Update: My room is now very, very dark!
2. The apartment above me is apparently reserved for sorority party girl college drop outs. (see several of the following grievances for these particular tennants)
3. The girl upstairs usually has one extremely loud verbal altercation with her fraternety party college drop out boyfriend once a week. It usually consists of her screaming, "WHY? WHY? WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS?? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME??" Get a clue and dump him, ya retard.
4. The girl upstairs has a dog that barks incessantly, day and night. I've awaken in the dead of night to this stupid dog a countless number of times. I hate it. I want to smoosh its stupid face every time I see it.
5. The girl upstairs comes home from parties with other college drop out friends in the middle of the week, in the middle of the night, acting like stupid drunk college sorority chicks, all the while her stupid college drop out dog is barking like a maniac.
*****I hate the girl that lives upstairs. I hate her stupid dog, too. Moral of the story - don't drop out of college.*****
6. The guy that lives next door to me likes to play his guitar at night while I'm trying to sleep. Update: I have not been awaken ONCE from loud noises, loud people, or loud dogs ever since I've lived in my house. It is quiet here. Ahhhh.
7. For the past three Saturdays, I've been awaken between 4:45am and 6:00am to this same guys alarm radio that is playing tejano music so loud that I swear he's trying to raise the dead. This guy's not even tejano. He's white and nerdy.
8. I'm tired of people parking in the spot that I pay for. Update: Having a garage is awesome!
9. I tried to open my fridge the other day and the handle ripped right off. Update: New fridges made from quality materials are awesome, too!
10. There is a frog that lives in a drain pipe in front of my parking spot and it ribbits very loudly at night while I'm trying to sleep. Update: No frogs, just crickets.
As a continuation of my previous blog, I would like to continue to air more of my grievances against Hidden Lakes Apartments and the residents of building 7.
11. I'm sick of having to roll down my window in tornadic weather to punch in my gate code.
12. I'm tired of getting my mail from the little building at the front.
13. I'm tired of paying for other people's water. Update: My water bill is a fraction of what it was in the apartment, even with the sprinklers!
14. I'm still tired of the stupid dog upstairs!!!!!!!!! It woke me up at 3:30am once last week and I listened to it bark until the alarm went off at 5.
15. I don't really have any water pressure in my shower.
16. I'm tired of walking up the stairs. I'm not against exercise, but I am against walking up stairs when I'm tipsy or tired or both. Update: It's nice not to have to carry several bags of groceries up two flights of stairs in the rain. Again - garages are awesome!
17. I'm tired of my 20 minute commute. (also see #18 for other reasons I hate my commute.)
18. I'm tired of the bad part of the Old Denton Road that has pot holes the size of moon craters. My alternative is the stupid unnessarily curvy ass part of extreme North Beach/Ray White for two feet/Alta Vista Rd that is an oil top nightmare, only to culminate into a major traffic jam thanks to the City of Ft. Worth that decided to let developers build 5,000 houses in two square miles before they widened the road. It makes every morning a test my wills. Update: The commute is MUCH shorter now, but Old Denton is in worse condition now. Luckily I only have to drive on it for about a half mile now. The traffic is still awful by the school because the City of Ft. Worth still hasn't widen it yet. They started the process a few weeks ago.

I guess looking back over the last year a lot of things have gotten better. This year has been no cake walk - just different battles to fight. The last two days were spent at band contest and both days went better than I could have hoped. It feels so good to have experienced this success after all of the pain and stress of the past four months. This must be what it feels like right after you have baby - you're so happy to see it that you forget about the pregnancy and labor pain! That's how I feel right now. I only have to work two days next week and then Natasha and I are off to shop til we drop in Austin and San Marcos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a Taste of Crazy

I had to go to the Renaissance festival in Waxahachie with my family over the weekend. I have a million pictures of crazy people from this thing that I want to post (plus some cute ones of Abby) but I'm really tired and I want to go to bed. I've just been dying to post these two since the moment I saw this guy.....at least I think it's a guy. We'll just call him a fierce tranny fairy.

More Awesomely Bad Baby Names

1. Ja'Beverly Ro'Chele, sister of Greenlee and ZaKenzie
2. Scotty Shane Ty, brother of Kyrea
3. Tarajah E'moni, sister of Alaysha Hart
4. Ashby Meleah, sister of Boomer
5. IdaBell Jean
6. London Mylee
7. Maleiagh Chaunte' (If you can pronounce this, I'll give you $50)
8. Ryker Addison
9. LaKeyleon Demetricus, brother of LaPerrion

I wish I could make this stuff up.

Tired......

I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired.
Can't catch up on sleep.
No rest for the weary.
Can't wait til summer.
Going back to Austin in May for more R&R!!

Insomniac Blog, Part Deux

So, I have to get up in four and a half hours and I'm wide awake. I'm not even kinda tired. I usually can't sleep on Sunday nights anyway, but this is really late for a school night. I wish I was one of those people that could get by on a few hours of sleep and still be able to function like a normal human, but I'm just not. I am going to be hating life tomorrow. (I'm sure Dean will be, too, since I'll be in such a pleasant mood!) And this is my last break until summer. But on the bright side, in 11 more weeks I can embrace my inner night owl and stay up as late as I want and then take as many naps as I want and do whatever I want. I remember my first year out of college when all I had to do was teach 30 lessons a week and work a few shifts at Old Navy. I went to the gym everyday, laid out by the pool in the afternoons, and only had to get up before 7 one day a week. Of course, I was also broke. Maybe if I could find a nice sugar daddy then I could go back to being fit, tan, and rested.
I really do live in a fantasy world!!

Insomniac Blog

Random thoughts.......

I'm a night owl and I can't wait til the summer when I can stay up as late as I want every night. I love staying up late. I don't know why, but I do. Love it.

Who decided that there would be sesame seeds on hamburger buns? It's kinda weird.

I have developed a huge crush on Jude Law. Saw a movie with him in it earlier this week and he is one tall drink of water. I'm still madly in love with Zach Braff, though. (Don't tell him about Jude!) Perhaps someday I will develop a crush on someone who actually knows I'm alive. Perhaps someday I will actually meet someone that is single in the suburbs. Perhaps I live in a fantasy world.

Moving on........Have I mentioned that I'm ready for the summer? I'm ready to have this school year behind me. I'm ready to have the time fix up my kitchen! I will be painting the cabinets black. I've got some good ideas on new paint colors for the kitchen and living room. I've ordered some tile samples for the back splash. I just need to find hardware for the cabinets. Home improvements are fun.

I'm going to make muffins in the morning! Yum!

I've been contemplating the idea of taking my showers at night to save some time in the morning. I figure I could get 45 more minutes of sleep in the morning if I do. Whenever I do this I have to pull my hair up, but seriously, who are we kidding? Like there are any single guys at Trinity Springs that need to see my hair down anyway. And if I could get a little extra sleep I might not be so moody. I'll have to weigh the options........messy pony tail hair or better mood??

Good night......

Home Improvements

So, I think Natasha's color inspirations have rubbed off on me a little and I went on a shopping spree today in a vain attempt to add some color to my kitchen. I found some super cute stuff and now I really want to do some other stuff, too! I got a new "curtain". It needs to be hemmed because it is too long and probably cut up the middle to let the sunlight in. (Maybe if I ask nicely then a good friend that lives close by and knows how to sew will help me!)

Here are a few new things from the shopping trip. I'm going to hang the canvas pictures some where else and I need some more fake limes to fill up the rest of the vase.

I've been seriously thinking about painting my cabinets black lately. I uploaded my picture to a program that lets you paint on your photo. So here's what my kitchen would look like with black cabinets. I would have to repaint (again) to lighten up the walls and I would add some silver hardware to all of the cabinets to dress it up. I also want to add a tile backsplash to the wall in the picture.....probably a tile that is glass. I can see it in my head! I have to say that I really love the black cabinets! Am I crazy?

New Music Needed!!

I need some new tunes to listen to! I'm taking suggestions..........


Side Note - this rain SUCKS! And it's cold again. Guess I need to go get some more movies. I'll take suggestions on those, too........

Sunny Sunday, Dreary Monday

Hard to believe that there was five inches of snow on the ground a little over a week ago. Sunday was so nice! I went downtown for breakfast and saw green trees!!!! It was such a nice day that I could open my windows and let in some warm spring air. Today sucks. It's muggy and cloudy and supposed to rain.



I decided to actually use the Blockbuster gift card I got for Christmas and rent a few movies. I watched The Last King of Scotland and Who Killed the Electric Car. Both were good views. I don't recommend the TLKofS if you need a feel good film and I don't recommend WKtheEC if you voted for W.

Day 1 of Spring Break

Day 1 of Spring Break = killer migraine. Why????

Almost Spring, Time for a Snow Storm!

Ya know, a week before spring break is definitely the right time for a snow storm. I don't remember when I ever saw it snow this much in Texas. I felt like I was in Michigan, because that's the only place I've ever seen 5 inches of snow at once. Of course, all of this snow was gone within 24 hours and it certainly made for an interesting drive to work Friday, but it was really fun getting to watch the giant snow flakes fall.

Here is the view from my front porch:

The backyard:

And I forgot to post this picture! Congrats Amy and Josh on your engagement!!!!!!

Obama Rama

Tara and I went to the Obama Rally on Thursday! We had a time trying to get to a parking garage, but luckily we found one a few blocks away. On the walk to the convention center we stopped to get Tara a sandwich and she shoveled it in while waiting in line:

We had a two hour wait once we got in. What are the odds that Jennifer and Delaina would walk right by us trying to find a seat? We even had two empty seats next to us. Here they are doing the wave:

And then the moment we'd all been waiting for!! Barack!! Can you find him in the picture?
Here he is on the jumbo-tron:

It was a very surreal experience, but as inspiring as I'd hoped it would be. I'm encouraged by his vision and very hopeful that he will win in Texas! I can't wait til March 4th. Remember Texans, you have to vote in order to caucus. You have to vote before 7 pm and you have to be at your caucus site before 7 pm because they will close the doors then!

On another note, I can't believe it is March already!

Weekend Recap and Sunday Shopping

Here are some random thoughts.

Voted early with Tara. Voted for BARACK!
Went to the symphony and heard Scheherazade.
Did major grocery shopping for the first time in a month.

I hate shopping on the weekends. I don't really have a choice, though. There is no time after work to shop and cook and clean and go to bed at a decent hour. Here are the reasons why to don't like to shop during peak weekend hours:

1. People take their unruly children with them.
2. People have no regard for others around them. Let's face it people, none of us want to be at a crowded store on a Sunday afternoon. If everyone tried a little harder to be considerate then it might not be so painful!
3. People who talk on their stupid blue tooth ear thing while they are shopping. (I've got a whole other set of problems with these people!) I really thought some woman was talking to me while I was picking out bananas, but no, she was talking hands free and having a conversation that CLEARLY couldn't wait 30 minutes til she got in the car.
4. PDAs. Yes, I stood in the check out line behind a couple that were kissing and groping each other.
5. People that still write checks. Seriously? It's 2008. Run, don't walk, to your local branch and get a debit card!!

And a word about the blue tooth technology: I understand that these things are convenient and they are great to use when you are driving in the car. There is absolutely no need for you, however, to walk around with the thing in your ear. Maybe if you are a high powered executive that never stops working no matter where you are, then I can sort of understand why you would have it. BUT, if your occupation is anything other than this then YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE IT IN YOUR EAR 24/7!!!!! I mean, what does it say about society that we can't even be bothered to hold a phone to our heads anymore. And since when did you become so important that you have to take a call every minute of every day no matter where you are or what your doing? Do you really need to talk hands free while you are having ice cream with your family at Brahms? Probably not. Eat the ice cream with your family without interruption so your kids feel important and then won't feel the need to act out in my class for attention. I'm convinced that blue tooth is the root of all evil.

Oh Glorious Day!

I just talked to my mom and she said that she is going to vote for Barack Obama!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally someone in my family has come to their senses!!!!! I remember 4 years ago when my grandmother was visiting and we were watching the debates - it was me and grandma on the Kerry side and Mom, Dad, and Vicki on the Bush side. I remember them giving us all kinds of grief about voting democratic. Grandma said that Bush didn't do anything for senior citizens. Bush didn't do anything for anyone. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised that my mom likes Obama. She's smart, after all. My dad on the other hand.........well, he said that he wouldn't vote for Obama even if he was the last man on earth. But he's not going to vote for McCain either. He said that being a P.O.W. in Vietnam soften his head and that he doesn't have any guts to do anything. He said that he'll just close down Gitmo. My dad buys into all the Fox News hype that a terrorist is going to fly a plane in to his house in Pittsburg, TX. He doesn't see the big picture about a crumbling economy and a deteriorating school system - he just thinks Al Qaeda is going to blow up East Texas and all the chicken farms. He thinks someone is going to take away his right to bear arms. He doesn't even have any arms to bear......unless he counts the air pistol he uses to chase away the armadillos in the back yard. I've got two weeks to work on him before the primaries. Now I've got to convince my sister.......

TMEA 2008

This year's TMEA was super fun. It couldn't have come at a better time. I really needed some inspiration to get me through the rest of the school year. I also can't believe that I went the entire trip without taking any pictures. I felt a little intimated after seeing the size of John Mackey's camera - I guess I have camera envy.

I was hoping there would be better clinics this year, but that wasn't the case. I did catch a few that were worth my time and I did learn some stuff. The best part of the convention was getting to hear all the great music. I think I went to more concerts this year than ever before. The highlight of my weekend was listening to the 5A All-State Symphonic Band rehearse. Jennifer and I stopped by a rehearsal because we wanted to hear the latest Mackey piece, Kingfishers Catch Fire. Geez, it was AWESOME. We heard the conductor say they would do a run through of the entire concert Saturday at 11:00, so we made it a point to catch it since the actual concert was at 7:30 that night and we had an 8:00 flight. (We almost missed our flight last year so we could stay and listen to Turbine). The band was amazing and they played a great program. Kingfishers was great. Oh my word, I can't describe in this blog how much I enjoyed it. The All-State bands are huge and I think that only made it better. (The group was really loud at the end of the piece, and just when you think it can't get any louder the horn section stands up and plays insanely high, ya know, just to make sure you get the point. It was awesome). Sitting in that rehearsal was just what I needed to recharge my teaching batteries. All I could think about was wanting to see my current 6th graders sitting in that group some day. I thought about the kids that come in early every morning to practice and always want another sticker on the pass-off chart and how much they like playing their instruments to earn those sparkley star stickers. I had sort of forgotten about how much I liked to play my clarinet when I was that age and how getting to go to TMEA in high school was the culmination of everything I'd worked for all those years. Seeing those kids in their rehearsal took me back 11 years and made me remember why I'm teaching now. I know that sounds so cliche, but I really needed that. All I've been thinking about lately is how much longer I'm going to be able to hold out in the teaching world. Getting to see those kids experience a musical opportunity like the one the had this week was inspiring. And I know that not all of the hard working kids that I teach are going to have the opportunity to play in an all state band. I feel, though, that it is my responsibility as their music educator to somehow bring them other musical opportunities so they can experience the same inspiration that I felt when I was their age and the same inspiration that I feel now. I can't wait to tell them tomorrow how cool it was to sit in that room to watch the best high school musicians in Texas be rehearsed by an amazing conductor and play the spectacular music of a great composer that is sitting in the room with them, guiding their experience and then watch him be moved by the performance as well. It was FUN! John Mackey - your music is awesome and you're super cool. Thanks for helping me recharge.

And I bought a new Newland baton with a pink handle.

Seriously?

I would again like to start by saying GO BARACK!
Now I would like to share with you a conversation I had with a student the other day. This student is VERY special (ya know, in a folder kind of way).

Student: Ms. Stokes, are you a democrat or a republican?
Me: Do you want me to be a democrat or do you want me to be a republican?
Student: I don't know! Who are you going to vote for?
Me: I don't know if we need to talk about this.
Student: Just tell me! My parents are going to vote for Hillary.
(at this point I'm relieved, and a little surprised, that she didn't say John McCain)
Me: Well, I like Hillary, but I think I'm going to vote for Obama.
Student: My dad said that if Obama wins president that black people will take over the world.

OH MY GOSH!!!! Are people still this ignorant????? Are people still passing this ignorance on to their children???? I really wanted to tell this girl that there are really stupid people of all races, creeds, and nationalities out there and she shouldn't discriminate against them because of their color. I wanted to tell her that she should be bothered by all colors of stupid people. I mean, we have a white president now and look what that's gotten us.

Politics and Come Ons

Let me start by saying GO BARACK!!!!! I just watched his victory speech on CNN and I'm shaking with excitement. If you are reading this and you've never heard him speak, you don't know what you are missing. John McCain needs to change his name to John McLame. And I would like to thank Mitt for proving my theory that people with stupid names will never be president.

Now for the reason for this blog. A few times a month I will get a message and friend request from some random dude on myspace. They are always at least one, if not all, of the following: redneck, uneducated, and greasy. They always have at least one, if not all, of the following on their myspace pages: confederate flags, pictures of big trucks or muscle cars, pictures of scantily clad women, NASCAR banners, and hunting crap. I'm always tempted to write them back and ask them the following questions:
1. What self respecting man asks girls out on myspace?
2. What is it about me that makes you think I dig confederate flags and naked chicks? Is it the banner I have that says Obama '08?
3. What is it about me that makes you think I want to hunt? Again, hello? Obama? I'm a democrat? Can we say GUN CONTROL?
4. Perhaps you think I ACTUALLY make $250,000 a year. Even if I did, do I look like the kind of girl that wants to be your sugar momma??

More Awesomely Bad Baby Names

Here are a few more awful names I found on my new favorite website! (Thanks, Jennifer!)

Kol Jaedyn - that's supposed to be a boy's name. I hope his mom has lots of ice for all the black eyes that kids gonna get on the play ground. And he'll never be president with a name like that.

Jumoke Elizabeth-Ann - hopefully she'll go by her middle names. I hope her siblings, Jayla and Ja'yesimi, have really normal middle names, too!

Talin Andrew - again, he'll never be president. Neither will Mitt Romney because his name is Mitt. DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(stepping off my soap box now..................)

I can't think of a profound title for this blog

I'm feeling a little better about life today. Jennifer and I went to a great clinic yesterday at SMU and it renewed my teaching spirit some. I thought it would be a long day, but I found myself really engaged by everything that everyone was saying. I felt like a sponge that hadn't been dipped into water in months and so every part of my brain had plenty of room to fill up with new knowledge. I don't feel so stale anymore. I feel like there is a little more hope for me to survive the rest of the year. If I want to be good at my job then I have no choice but to keep immersing myself into stuff like this on a more regular basis. I'm too new at this not to. It would be ignorant of me to just coast along and be satisfied with mediocrity for the rest of my career. I'm in it to win or lets go home. I am truly amazed at how much more I demand of myself as a teacher than I ever did as a student. I guess being a student came a little easier. At any rate, I need to stay motivated and inspired so that I don't get beat down again. It's going to be hard with the group that I have this year, though.

On another note, I finished Eat Pray Love last night. I was sad that it was over. It has forced me to think a lot about myself over the past few weeks and that is a good thing. In a way, it reinforced some security in decisions I have made that have left me feeling insecure lately. Without getting into too much detail, I appreciated the rawness of her imperfections. I think that is how we grow as humans: recognizing our flaws and overcoming them. Always working to better ourselves. I know, I know - that is sooooo cliche, but I think that things would spiral out of control if we didn't recognize what we need to fix about ourselves. I have so much in my head right now that I could type for hours, but it's late and I'll save the rest of my thoughts for another day........

Operation Maintain Sanity, Day 3

It's almost time to leave. I'm really sad. I could use another 3 days here. I was really hoping that it would get really cold and the roads would freeze and I would get stuck here for a few more days, but no such luck. It's hovering just above freezing.
While I was looking through one of those tourist books in the hotel I came across an advertisement for a newly constructed Chinatown. This sounds fun to me, so Saturday night I drove out to Chinatown. I quickly learn that it is more like Vietnamtown. There are several restaurants, a few boutiques, and a large Asian market. There is an Asian market in Haltom City and I've always wanted to go, it's just in a real sketchy part of town and I've never been brave enough. This place is not sketchy at all so I decide to go in and wander around. As soon as I hit the door I was overcome with the smell of fish. It was pretty cool, though. It looked just like a Kroger only everything was Asian. They had lots of different kinds of candy laid out for the Tet. I picked up some sesame seed candy, tamarind candy, and dried mango with sugar, salt, and chili. I'm happy to report that the tamarind candy wasn't bad. It was like those gummy peaches you get at the mall, only tamarind flavor. The mango was awful. Salty dried fruit is never a good idea. I thought the sesame seed candy would have a caramel texture (it has peanuts and what I thought would be nougat), but it was gummy. The was a little weird, but it didn't taste bad. I also picked up a bottle of sesame oil and some green chopsticks.

This was my view of the capitol on Sunday morning after breakfast. I took Cristian's advice and went to the Magnolia Cafe for pancakes. It was super crowded but the pancakes were definitely worth the wait. The cafe was super quirky and they had a super quirky gift store next door. After breakfast I just drove around and then walked a lot downtown.

For lunch on Sunday I went to Mekong River and had Pho. The only other time I've had Pho was in Keller at Green Bamboo. This Pho was a million times tastier than the Pho in Keller.

After lunch I went to a place called Bead It. There were four rooms of nothing but beads on the walls from floor to ceiling. You got your beads Central Market style - pick out what you want, put them in a bag, and price it. I think I tooled around in there for an hour. It was slightly overwhelming because there was SO MUCH stuff it was hard to narrow down what it is that I wanted. I ended up with this stuff. I have a vision in my head of what this necklace will look like and if I ever finish it, I'll post a picture.

On Sunday afternoon I was laying in bed reading when the house keeping lady kept knocking on my door. I got up to tell her that I didn't need anything and while I was talking to her I see this kid out of the corner of my eye and I think, "that kid looks a lot like Bishop." (he's a kid in our beginner trumpet class). I turn around to get a better look and sure enough it's Bishop. And he's just staring at me in disbelief that I'm in Austin, too. He's there with the whole family! So I'm talking with his mom about the odds that I would run into them and then she tells me that they are in the room right next door!!!!! I mean seriously. I come all this way to run away from my life and end up right next door to a student. Luckily, he's a nice kid and his family is nice so it's more funny than anything. Later that night my old college friend Jennifer and her new husband pick me up and take me to a place called Shady Grove. (I was told them on the way there about running into a student). We took our seat at the restaurant and hadn't been there a full minute yet when Bishop pops over to say hello! They had gone to the exact same restaurant!!!!! I just couldn't believe it. I told them we needed to talk before Spring Break. Shady Grove was fun. Jennifer and I had the tortilla crusted queso catfish. Sounds weird, but it was really good. After dinner we went to the Elephant Room and listened to a band called Chicken Strut. The first song we heard was Cantaloupe Woman. My personal favorite was a song named after the band. It was really great to catch up with Jennifer and meet her husband. Maybe I'll get a vacation home in Austin and be able to hang out with them more often!

Operation Maintain Sanity, Day 2

I am so glad that I took this trip! I feel like Rachel Ray on $40 a day. I act like I've never been on a trip in my life, but I have never traveled like this. I've never been someplace all alone and I've never gone somewhere without a clear purpose. Well, there was a purpose to this weekend, just not like the usual purposes. Both times I've been to Chicago it was for a reason. I was in New York for a reason. I'm always in San Antonio for a reason. I consider myself lucky that I have the means to take off on a trip like this. I also consider myself lucky that I don't have to worry about leaving people behind to take such a self indulgent trip. I have always loved to travel. (Except for those 24 hour trips in the van to Michigan). I love getting away and staying in hotels and venturing to all sorts of new places. It's just recently that I've had the means to do more of it. And after the pure enjoyment of this trip, I have a feeling that I'll be getting away more and more often. Here's a quote from Eat Pray Love that I quite relate to:
"......traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, ever since I was sixteen years old and first went to Russia with my saved-up babysitting money, that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal and constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby-I just don't care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it's mine. Because it looks exactly like me. If can barf all over me if it wants to-I just don't care."

The picture above is were I ate lunch Saturday. A South American restaurant called Dona Emilia's.
This is what I had. Blackened salmon with a basil chimichurri on top of a sweet potato cake. That was the BEST piece of salmon that I've ever had.

After lunch I walked down 6th Street and found the Old Pecan Street Cafe. Their menu boasted famous pecan pie, so I had to try it. It was served with homemade whipped cream and strawberries that were quite juicy and delicious, considering it's January. That was the best piece of pecan pie I've ever had. I don't know if I'm just more aware of the taste of food when I'm not distracted by conversation or if meals I've had here are just that good! When I got up to walk back to the hotel, and I must quote Alanis Morissette, "I feel drunk but I'm sober". I felt great. I felt relaxed. I felt like I should have done this months ago. I guess buying my house and adjusting to a new school got in the way.

This cafe seemed oddly out of place on 6th street. It looked it belonged more on Main Street in Nacogdoches rather than nestled between dirty bars on a cleaner version of Bourbon Street. It was really cute inside. I was there at about 4:30 and the sun shining through the windows made it look like something out of a movie. I found it quite peaceful and relaxing.

I've got lots more to report, but I want to get out and walk around town more! I'll post more pictures later!